You need to find the answer on your own!

After reading "Homebase", I feel that this is a novel deserves to be read again and again. All the dreams, thoughts and sadness combine together, which makes the story so beautiful and fragile. As a sensitive person, I can quite understand Rainsford's inner heart, even though I'm quite lucky than he is. He is struggling, because he doesn't know who he is and where he comes from. He keeps looking for the answers that being violent is his way to protect and dissemble himself.  His parents die so early, which has a big attack on him, then he cannot get the answer from them. So he keep moving on, he goes to Angel Island for answers. 

In Chapter Five, after Rainsford goes to Angle Island, He says that "I am declined to believe in ghosts because islands in California are places of waiting and the waiting is what destroys people."(p81) Yes, that's right. His grandfather spent a lot of time waiting on the Island, So do many Chinese men there. And he, Rainsfird, is waiting too. He is waiting for answers with confusions filling his heart. Waiting is painful, because you cannot see the way ahead of you. Then, Rainsford met with the Indian man who points a way for him. The Indian man tells Rainsford that "You should be out looking for your place, your home. This is part of mine. ... This is your country. Go out and make yourself at home." (p84) The Indian man can see Rainsford's confusion and pain, Maybe because once upon a time, he also gets through with it. He is also not a native person here, even less native than Rainsford. But he is strong, because he identifies with himself. He knows that when Rainsford says he lives there, actually he lives nowhere. He is a man stands nowhere. He was born at America and  lives all his life there, but he doesn't identify himself as an American. His parents are Chinese, but they died early, so he has no way to understand Chinese. In this case, he doesn't identify himself as Chinese too. In the article, it says that "The sounds I heard as a child in dreams made me deaf but never woke me. Hearing voice wakes me." (p88) It shows that Rainsford is afraid of the world and his identity. To be safe, he would like to cover up his eyes and ears.

I feel that if one want to identify with himself, he must learn to face the reality and his heart bravely. If Rainsford wants to find the answer for his life, he must directly face his family, his history and the environment. This is the first step. Nothing in the world is isolated. One's identity is made up with several parts. Rainsford is not a pure America or Chinese, actually no one does. His identity is unique, different from anybody else. You need to find the answer on your own. Secondly, I feel the novel's name homebase is very interesting. It makes me think a lot about hometown. I have heard a Chinese author says that "Hometown is somewhere you can never go back." I really agree with that. People change as they go to different places. Hometown gradually turns to be a place in one's memory. You can never go back, because you have changed. So what I feel is that maybe it's not that crucial for Rainsford to go back to "where he comes from". What he needs to do is understand where he comes from, so it can help him to go where he really wants to go.